depths of the ocean a perfectly ordinary fish came before the biggest fish of all yes little fish what do you want pardon me your excellency but you see lately i've been observing the humans on the beach and well they seem to be having such a good time that i've decided to go and join them so you think they're having a good time oh my dear little fish it's not your nature to live on the land. But still, if you think they're having fun, go enjoy them. Just remember, always welcome back. So that was how it all began.

I could hardly wait to get to the beach, but when I got there, I found I could no longer breathe. Just then, when I thought I'd breathed my last, a mysterious woman appeared. She told me her name was Maya, and her job was to give wayward fish, like myself, a chance to enjoy pleasures on dry land. She offered to give me anything I wanted, so first I asked for a human body.

Thanks, Maya, I said. Now I'm ready to go out and have a really great time. Sure fish, said Maya, but even good-looking guys like yourself have to work for a living. So I got a job at the car wash.

It only paid $1.75 an hour, but boy, it sure felt good to be standing on my own two feet. One day at the beach, I met Lola. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was the most alluring woman I had ever seen.

I guess I fell for her hook, line, and sinker. I said, Lola, I know this is sudden, but will you marry me? She replied that she wanted to marry me more than anything else in the whole world, but not on 8750 a week. Well, that very night, I enrolled in night school.

I figured if I got a degree, I could land a really good job. Naturally, I dove right into the study of marine biology. After a couple of years, I was offered a job of manager at the car wash. Unfortunately, it would have meant longer hours, and I couldn't afford to take the time away from my studies.

After four years, I got my degree, but they told me if I wanted a job, I would have to go for my master's. This business of becoming happy was beginning to look more and more complicated. Two years later, I got my master's. Then they said that only a doctorate would do.

Finally, after eight long years of working in the car wash during the day and studying long hours at night, I got my PhD. I couldn't wait to get my first job. But no matter how I pleaded and begged, the answer was always the same. Sorry, no jobs.

I didn't give up my studies, however. Between cars, I would study the adaptability of marine organisms to industrial wastewater. And in due time, I did get a raise at the car wash. With my pay raise, I rented a modest home.

Then, at long last, I invited Lola to share it with me as my wife. Fish, she said. How could you ask me to live in a dump like this? She flatly refused to marry me until I could find a nicer place.

I couldn't believe it. After eight years of struggle, Lola still wasn't satisfied. Frustrated, I took counsel with my friend, Maya. She told me that nothing great was ever accomplished in this world without a struggle.

And besides, she said, if you want to please Lola, all you really need is a bank loan. A bank loan? Why didn't I think of that? At last, I had discovered the key to happiness in life.

Good credit. For once, Lola seemed to be pleased with me. She actually smiled when I showed her the new house. And when I took her inside, she at long last agreed to be my bride.

The next few months were wonderful. Of course, I had to put in a few extra hours at the car wash to make ends meet. And before long, I realized that married life was not all sweetness and light. One night, Lola threatened to leave me unless I got a new car.

But Lola, I said, you know we can't afford a new car. If you can't afford a new car, she replied, you can't afford me. Fortunately, I was able to get a second job the very next day. Of course, a new schedule took a little getting used to.

And as a result, I was always getting yelled at. Fortunately, I could always count on my beautiful Lola for encouragement. But one night, I began to sense that the magic had disappeared from our marriage. Lola didn't seem to want me anymore.

Well, I wasn't worried. After all, she had promised me a special dinner that very night. I felt sick when I saw what she put on the table. Fish, I said.

Lola, I told you never to serve me fish. For some reason, those big eyes reminded me of my mother. I couldn't understand how Lola could be so cruel. The next day, I understood.

Lola said she was tired of sneaking around. She was going to live openly with her friends. I said, Lola, these men can't give you financial security. All she could say was, Fish, money isn't everything.

Boy, was I mad. Those guys were lucky to get away with their lives. I couldn't understand it. I had given Lola everything.

How could I go on living without her? In desperation, I returned to my old friend, Maya. She told me that such setbacks were common in this world and that all I really needed was something to help me forget the pain. But no matter what I did, I couldn't forget Laura.

It all seemed so unfair. I loved her with all my heart, but she didn't care for me at all. I remember the band kept playing the same old song. You must remember this.

A fish is just a fish No matter what he tries Just then, a stranger appeared at my table. He said his name was Angel, Angel Dust. Friend, he said. You look like you're trying to forget something.

Come with me. I've got just what you want. We went to his place. I gave him $30, and he told me to sit back and relax.

All of a sudden, I felt very strange. My heart was pounding My head was buzzing And just when I thought I'd forgotten her There was Lola I looked around the room to tell Angel But Angel wasn't there anymore Neither was the room Just me and Lola I told myself not to panic After all, none of it was real My self-control began to crack I remembered how she liked to eat fish Then just as fear began to overwhelm me I had the most profound conviction that I was different from my body. But if I'm not this body, I asked myself, then who am I? Suddenly, the answer came to me.

I was beyond any material conception. Luminous like the sun. Eternal. Full of bliss and knowledge.

And completely transcendental. I knew everything. I was older than the oldest. Smaller than the smallest.

I was the controller. I was the maintainer. I was completely free to do anything. I'm God, I shouted.

I'm God. I'm God. Unfortunately, not everyone believed me. I explained to Maya how for a little while I had become God, but then somehow I had forgotten.

I told Maya that I wanted to be God all the time. She said, Fish, I've got just the place for you. The Center for Human Enlightenment and Transcendence. The fee was $400.

I thought that was too much and said so to the man at the desk. It's nothing, he said. When you become one with everything, you will also become one with those $400. In this way, nothing is lost.

Besides, he told me, we promised to show you God in the very first lesson. He instructed me to close my eyes and chant Aum. The first symptom of self-realization, he told me, would be a vision of the great white light. Sure enough, before long I had a stunning glimpse of the white light.

But there was more to come. His exalted arrogance, Swami Kamabogananda, was in town. Another $400 actually got me a personal audience. The Swami explained, between grapes, that God-realization cannot be achieved by artificial repression of the senses.

Sense control is necessary, he said, but it must be developed by natural methods. For example, to control the mind, it is necessary to use intoxicants, because intoxicants relieve the mind of all petty frustrations. And the tongue must be satisfied at all costs Otherwise it might disturb our concentration In the same way, our natural sex desire requires thorough satisfaction But Swami, I said, I've tried all these things and they've just made me miserable My dear boy, he replied, this path is not easy You must keep trying The Swami went on and on But suddenly I could understand that he was just like me and everybody else in this crazy world. He wanted so badly to be happy that when he couldn't find any happiness, he ended up by simply fooling himself.

Maya had been helping me to fool myself in different ways ever since I'd come here. But now, for the first time, I could see that this dry land was nothing but a place of misery. I couldn't understand why I had ever left the ocean. I guess the big fish was right after all.

When he said that I could never be happy out of water, I sure was glad to get back into that ocean. Moral. As the little fish belongs in the ocean, so we belong in the spiritual world. Krishna, or God, is our best friend and well-wisher.

And he wants us to come back and live with him in the spiritual world. The little fish represents the spirit soul. a tiny part of Kṛṣṇa. We are all spirit souls, and like fish out of water, we have abandoned our real home to try and find happiness in this material world. Māyā is Lord Kṛṣṇa's bewildering material energy.

According to our desire, she leads us to believe that we can find happiness separate from Kṛṣṇa. These are some examples of Māyā's favorite fate. Fortunately for those who want to go back to the spiritual world, there are God-conscious alternatives for all of māyā's allurements. For example, instead of killing animals needlessly, we can enjoy delicious vegetarian food that has been offered to Kṛṣṇa.

Instead of taking dangerous drugs for temporary artificial highs, we can stay high naturally by chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa. Instead of uncontrolled sexual enjoyment, we can live a regulated family life and raise and raise Kṛṣṇa conscious children. And instead of wasting time with watered-down philosophies, we can associate with devotees and experience the undiluted philosophy of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Taking the Kṛṣṇa conscious alternatives will give us the chance to return to the spiritual world in our next life.

Now we can remain if we wish in this material world, but like a fish out of water, we won't really be happy. The first step in becoming Kṛṣṇa conscious is to chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra. Try it now and just see if it doesn't make you happy.